Episode 02 - The First Step in Goal Setting Most People Skip: Goal Setting Series - Part 1

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How many planners and notebooks do you have on your desk right now? How about sticky notes? If you are like me, you love to set goals. 

The New Year feels like a fresh start and you love the feeling of accomplishment when even just setting goals!

But maybe you haven’t set goals in a while or maybe you’ve tried to set new years resolutions in the past and they never really stuck.

In this 5 Part series on setting goals, I’m sharing the mistakes people make, and how to actually achieve your goals once you’ve set them without burning yourself out. 

A study at Dominion University found you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down. And it doesn’t have to be just at the start of the new year or another milestone.

But there is this magic that happens when you get things out of your head and down on paper. In your head, everything is chaos, but when you write it down, everything becomes clear.

I’ve created a free workbook you can download and print off and follow along during this series. Download the workbook here.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why most people skip this first step in goal setting

• Why reflecting can be really hard for people

• How to get the most out of your reflection
  
  

Follow Nicole on LinkedIn and on Instagram @nicolecasespeaks

Transcript:

E02

[00:00:00] [00:01:00]

How many planners and notebooks do you have on your desk right now? Be honest. How about some sticky notes? If you're like me, you love to set goals and a new year can really feel like a fresh start. I love the feeling of accomplishment, even when just setting the goals right? Or maybe you haven't set goals in a little while, or maybe you've tried setting New Year's resolutions in the past and they've just never.

So I am your host, Nicole Case, and in this five part series on setting goals, I am sharing the mistakes people make and how to actually achieve these goals once you've set them without burning yourself out. And there was a study at Dominion University that found that you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you actually write them down.

There is some sort of magic when that happens, when you get things out of your head and down on. In your head, everything is just chaos, [00:02:00] but when you write it down, everything becomes clear. So I've created a free worksheet for you that you can download and print off and follow along during this series.

I've linked to it in the show notes. You can go and find it out on Nicole Case speaks.com/podcast/zero.

But before we dive right into the sticky notes and 15 action items, the first step in this process is actually reflection Now. Let's talk about why most people skip this part, but also why reflection is so important and how to get the most out of your reflection.

If reflection isn't something that comes naturally to you, I totally get it. Futuristic is my number one strengths in strengths finder. If you've ever done that assessment before or if maybe you've done QBR or you've done performance reviews and they've felt like a giant waste of time and didn't create any value, I totally get it.

And I've also just had a lot of clients come to me to say, Nicole, I don't do a ton of reflection. That's not natural [00:03:00] for me. I don't do a lot of journal. It's totally fine. There's a lot of reasons why people don't do that type of work, right? That they don't do reflection. One of them is that they frankly just don't have time to do it, right?

You just, I'm so busy, I just don't have time to do this reflection thing, or I just wanna get into action. I don't wanna slow down. I'm in the groove. I just wanna keep moving forward, and that's usually me. I usually just like to just get into action, just start moving forward. I don't want to slow. Some people don't like to do reflection because they just don't see how it will be relevant, right?

It's like it was in the past. I can't change what was in the past, so why even bother doing it, right? Why spend the time doing this reflection if I know it's not going to be relevant?

Some people don't like to do reflection cuz frankly they just don't know how to do it. I remember when I first was thinking about this whole idea of journaling and you know, I hear it's really good and I should do [00:04:00] it, but it felt like it needed to be, you know, You know, dear diary kind of a thing, or those fancy bullet journals that I definitely don't have nice enough handwriting to use.

So I was like, I just, I don't even know how to do this whole reflection thing. And honestly, a lot of times people don't like to do reflection because. They're not gonna like what they find, right? If I go back and I think through what I, what happened a year ago, or what I, what happened in the last six months, I'm gonna uncover some things that are uncomfortable that I don't like.

Maybe, you know, maybe things didn't go so well, or maybe you failed at something, or you made a mistake, or maybe you got some really bad feedback about something and you're like, you know what? I just don't, don't. Don't really wanna relive that again, and I can totally, I totally feel you. I can totally understand why you'd be resistant to doing reflection or doing this type of work, but the truth is, reflection is so important.

Remember one year [00:05:00] early on in my business, I didn't think I had gotten very far and I was feeling like a giant failure. But once I did my reflection, I realized that I had accomplished some really great things, even if I hadn't reached my exact goal. And it really helped me shift my attitude and my mindset about that year.

And what I also realized was that I was also grossly overestimating how long it would take me to do certain things that I. And then I was just completely overs, stuffing my goals and my calendar. So it really wasn't that I was a giant failure. What I found when I did this reflection, I wasn't a giant failure.

It was just that I was trying to do too many things and the things that I did accomplish were really awesome. So, oh my gosh, you should have seen. The giant calendar I had created on my wall in my office with blue painters tape and sticky notes. It was this seven week rolling calendar that I was constantly updating and moving things around.

And then I also had this five month [00:06:00] rolling quarterly calendar on the other side of the wall where I had. Bigger programs and milestones and things like that. And again, looking back, I realized I was just trying to do way too much, but I still did some really amazing things and really did move the needle for my business.

So when I went to set goals, again, I was way more realistic with myself and got super clear about the actual needle movers that were needed for me to be focused.

So reflection really gets us to slow down. I know we are moving a million miles a minute, especially if we are, you know, driven and ambitious and want to just keep going and going and going. We know deep down that slowing down actually does help us in these reflection practices. Can help us do that. It really gets us to slow down a minute and just pause and reflect on what's happened.

Plus it gives us a clearer picture of what [00:07:00] actually happens. Because sometimes we can, like I said before, we can have in our heads that, oh, I was such a failure, or, oh, that was such a terrible thing. Or We forget about the good things, right? Because we are so focused on these feelings of inadequacy, we're getting so focused on these feelings of failure or of not being enough, right?

Does, does that resonate with anyone? So by doing these really intentional reflections, it gives us a clearer picture of what actually happened. And it reminds you of what you did actually accomplish. It also starts to give you clarity on what you want to do next. So if you're ever in this place of Nicole, I'm not really sure what I wanna do.

I'm not really sure what's next for me, or what's the next decision doing this reflection can really start to give you clarity on what it is that you wanna do next. If nothing else, it gives you clarity on what you don't want, which sometimes is the easier place to.

Stopping and pausing to do [00:08:00] this reflection also can help you be more effective and efficient moving forward. And so all of us who are incredibly driven and who wanna achieve and wanna keep, you know, accomplishing things, we also wanna be effective and efficient, right? So this is a way that we are able to do that by stopping and pausing and reflection and reflecting.

So, okay, Nicole, you've convinced me ready to do this reflection thing. Now, how do I get the most out of it if I'm gonna spend the time and I'm actually gonna do it? First of all, there is no right or wrong way to do reflection, but I have come up with a couple of questions and a little bit of a framework that has certainly helped me and has certainly helped my clients.

So the first thing is to pick a timeframe and stick with that. Sometimes we can think, oh, you know, sometimes our brains just kind of create this big umbrella. Feeling and experience when really that was, oh my gosh, that was actually five years ago. Again, I don't know about you, but [00:09:00] in these last several years, everything's just been a blur.

It's been both, it feels both like it's only been six months since the pandemic started and yet it's also felt like 15 years. So time has a funny thing in our, in our brain. So I would like to go back and actually look at my calendar. Really pick a timeframe, whether it's 12 months or six months, and just stick with that and go back on your calendar and see like what were, what were you working on over those last 12 or six months?

What was kind of going on? What were some of the big milestones? What were some of the big life experiences that you had? And you know, really just start there. You can also look at any other metrics that make sense for you to look at, especially depending on your job, if your job. Really specific metrics that you are being evaluated by or just, just the nature of the work that you do just lends itself to some really clear metrics.

Make sure you pull those and, and take a look [00:10:00] at those. I also want you to think about your health. How are you feeling both physically and mentally during this timeframe? Were you feeling, you know, peak health? Were you feeling like you were fueling yourself in the right way or were you not feeling fueling yourself and feeling, feeling your best kind of what was going on there?

So after you've picked your timeframe, after you've picked, you know, you've looked through those metrics and you've really thought about your health, how, how that. How that was going for you. Then I want you to think through these four questions. What worked, what didn't? What did I learn about myself and how did I help others?

So again, there is no right or wrong way to do reflection, and there's no magic time period or magic timeframe that it takes. But what I would caution you on is trying to rush through it to get to the next step in the goal setting process. Give yourself enough time [00:11:00] and space to really sit down, maybe in your favorite chair or at a coffee shop, or just someplace where you can get really cozy.

Maybe play some really fun music that you, that you enjoy. Get a yummy beverage, whatever that is for you, and just kind of curl up. Just really work through, at minimum, these four questions of what worked, what didn't, what did you learn about yourself and how you helped others. You might find it useful to maybe get the perspective of someone else really close to you, whether it's a colleague or a partner or something like that, because sometimes they can remind us on how things went or, oh, remember about that situation.

Remember about that time, you know, again, sometimes we get so close. Our own stuff that we need that third party or that other person just to kind of remind us of things. Also, just remember that they also have their own lens and memory of the situation or of the past as well, so you'll have to use your judgment [00:12:00] on that.

But it can also be really beneficial just to get their perspective, because sometimes they can remind us of things that we maybe forgot about or glossed over.

So now that you've taken the time to do this, reflect. Now I want you to celebrate. Celebrate the fact that you've achieved so much in this last year. Even if you didn't achieve as much as you wanted, maybe you didn't hit your goals or maybe you didn't have any goals at all, and you're kind of seeing how that's now played out, still celebrate the fact that you have gotten through another year.

You have. So much despite a global pandemic, despite an impending recession and a lack of resources, a tight labor market, and I know that you've been taking care of your team and you've been taking care of everyone else in your life, and you're being pulled in a million different directions, and you've been probably distracted by all of the things [00:13:00] that are going on.

You know, I don't know. The patriarchy, despite the patriarchy, you've. Such amazing things and just frankly, we just live in a really stressful world. But yet again, you should celebrate all the amazing things that you have.

So spend some time reflecting on the amazing year that you've had and celebrate with a yummy cup of tea or a fun mocktail, or you're like me and a nice cold glass of champagne. Remember to download that goal setting worksheet linked out in the show notes at Nicole Case speaks.com/podcast/zero two, and I'll see you next week in part two of the goal setting series where we will set our vision.

Make sure you subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen, so you can get notified right away when that new episode drops. So enjoy that glass of champagne and remember, your career deserves an upgrade.