Episode 10: Figure Out Your Next Steps with Karli the Clarity Coach
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Have you ever felt stuck or unmotivated, burnt out, or overwhelmed in your job? Are you getting the sense that you need to make a shift but don’t know where to start? Or maybe you’ve been one of the unfortunate thousands of other people who have been laid off this year? If you are feeling this way or experiencing any feelings of just not sure what’s next for you - I’m so excited to introduce you today to my good friend, Karli Williamson also known as Karli the Career Clarity Coach.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
What to do when your goals no longer align with what you want
Why you feel grief during any kind of change - good or bad
How listening to your body can help with gaining clarity
What you should do first when figuring out your next steps
Links:
Join Karli’s free Career Clarity Q&A session on March 16, 2023!
Full Transcript:
[00:01:05] Nicole: Have you ever felt stuck or unmotivated or burnout or overwhelmed in your job? Are you getting the sense that you need to make a shift, but don't know where to start. Or maybe you've been one of the unfortunate thousands of other people who've been laid off this year. If you're feeling this way or experiencing just any feelings of just not sure what's next for you.
[00:01:26] Nicole: I'm so excited to introduce you today to my really good friend, Carly Williamson. Who's also known as Carly, the career clarity coach. But before becoming a career coach, Carly spent a lot of time in her career just trying to climb the ladder and figuring out what was next. Throughout her 10 year marketing career. She was constantly working to figure out how to build a successful fulfilling career. And now she helps other mid-career professionals achieve career clarity.
[00:01:56] Nicole: Uh, by figuring out how their skills. Values and priorities aligned to create a career, a career that feels right for them. Outside of coaching. She loves hot yoga, trying new things, spending time with her nieces and nephews. Reading. Killing house plants, which I can definitely relate to. And cooking. So i am so excited to let you in on this really fun conversation that i had with my friend carly about just figuring out what's next in your career so let's dive right on in.
[00:02:28] Nicole: Welcome back to another episode of the Upgraded Career podcast. I am your host Nicole Case, and today I am joined by my dear, dear friend Carly Williamson, a k a, the clarity coach. So, um, today, I'm so excited cuz we are talking about. Just if you are feeling stuck, if you are feeling like, uh, I'm, I ready to move on from, from what I'm doing or just, I'm just not really sure what I want to do next.
[00:02:56] Nicole: This podcast is for you. So let's just dive right on in. So, Carly, first, thank you so much for joining. I'm so excited that you're here.
[00:03:06] karli: thank you for having me.
[00:03:07] Nicole: Yes, yes. But so tell us, just, just tell us a little bit about your background and your career.
[00:03:13] karli: Yeah, so my background is in events and event marketing. Um, so pretty high stress job. Um, I think like a lot of people, I kind of just. Fell into it. It was something I was like, oh, I'm interested in this.
[00:03:26] Nicole: Yeah.
[00:03:27] karli: Oh, I guess I'll get this job. and was kinda a, a ladder climber for most of my career.
[00:03:33] karli: Just kept being like, okay, what's the next step? What's the next step? How do I get ahead? How do I get ahead? which I think is, is pretty common for a lot of people. You know, you finish school and you're like, Someone's gonna gimme a job. Like, great, I'll just keep doing this until someone else gives me a job.
[00:03:46] karli: Ok, cool. Um, but you know, I think throughout my career I just kinda started, like as I started growing personally. You know, the person you are when you're like 22 is a lot different than you are in your late twenties, your mid thirties. You kind of grow up and,
[00:04:00] Nicole: Mm-hmm.
[00:04:01] karli: just kind of started questioning. Is this it for me?
[00:04:05] karli: Like, is this kind of like everything I wanna be doing? You know, I was in the tech space as well, and I am not super passionate about tech. It's just kind of like where I ended up and I understood it and it was like, you know, a good community fit for me for a long time. and I just kind of started planting these seeds in my head of like, what else could I be doing?
[00:04:28] karli: And I realized like I was giving a lot of. my personal community, a lot of career advices I saw in my friends and especially, you know, women growing in their careers and asking me how to navigate, you know, like, I'm not sure what I wanna do, or how do I get this raise? Or, you know, how do I navigate this difficult manager?
[00:04:47] karli: And I just realized more and more, this is kind of something that feels really natural to me.
[00:04:51] Nicole: Mm-hmm.
[00:04:52] karli: so it, it became like a really natural progression for me to start doing this professionally and offering that as a service.
[00:04:59] Nicole: Awesome. You know, I remember like, I feel like I had a, a bit of a similar sort of experience. I remember one day very vividly, like on my morning commute to my tech job, to my job, to my job in tech. And I'm on my morning commute and I'm in my car and I'm like, you know, merging onto the highway like everyone else.
[00:05:21] Nicole: And I'm just like, is this it?
[00:05:23] karli: mm-hmm.
[00:05:24] Nicole: This is it. Like, this is what I'm gonna do for the next 30 years is you know, at eight 30 every morning on a weekday I'm gonna merge into traffic and, and, you know, drive my 20 to 30 minutes to my, to my, my job and be there and my cube, and then turn around and turn around, drive home, then do it all over again.
[00:05:43] Nicole: And, you know, again, similar to you, I, I had a moment where, or I had, you know, I was, um, you. coaching and guiding, you know, friends and people in my network about career stuff. And, and, and I'm just curious for you, like, is there, was there a specific point in time that you realized you needed to make a change?
[00:06:04] Nicole: Like, did like something happen or was it like a slow burn?
[00:06:09] karli: Yeah, I mean, I think a little bit of both.
[00:06:11] Nicole: Mm-hmm.
[00:06:12] karli: had kind of these like moments where, you know, I was like, oh, do I wanna be a teacher? Like that, kind of like I noticed like, wow, I really love these like training opportunities at work and where I kind of get to like mentor and coach people and. Do I wanna be a teacher? And so those seeds were planted and I was like, oh, like HR and people ops seems interesting cause I kind of like that side of like talking people through issues And um, so there were like a lot of kind of like, being planted and, and being more and more kind of like disillusioned with like, yeah, going to my job and being in traffic single day.
[00:06:45] karli: And um, I had done like a lot of travel in my
[00:06:49] Nicole: Yep.
[00:06:50] karli: did a lot of international travel, which was so fun, but started to realize like, I'm not really seeing anything. I'm working like 16 hours a day while
[00:06:59] Nicole: Yeah.
[00:06:59] karli: events. Like I'm actually really tired and this isn't as fun as I remember it being.
[00:07:03] karli: And um, you know, I think that, uh, I had kind of this moment where I was really struggling with my mental health. Like
[00:07:10] Nicole: Mm-hmm.
[00:07:11] karli: so much and I was driving towards these goals. didn't really resonate with me anymore. They just didn't really align with like what my values were. You know, I'm like working towards getting these companies, these leads and working in tech for so long, and, uh, I just was like, wow, I don't, I don't know that this is all of it.
[00:07:29] karli: And so I took a break. I was like, I, my mental health
[00:07:32] Nicole: Hmm.
[00:07:33] karli: really rough right now. I'm working constantly. I'm not able to take care of myself. Like I just really need to realign and. Um, you know, I took, it ended up being five weeks off and was just like, let me figure out who Carly is as like a person and not just Carly, the event marketer and Carly the Hustler.
[00:07:51] karli: And you know, Carly, when she's burnt out, like tired, Carly. It was
[00:07:55] Nicole: All right.
[00:07:56] karli: I had of myself. Um, and so I woke up every day and was like, what do I feel like doing? Um, and that just like kind of helped me realign When I went back to work, I was like, wow, this just. me up. I feel like I have to abandon myself and my values and my priorities in order to kinda do this job.
[00:08:13] karli: And,
[00:08:13] Nicole: Hmm
[00:08:14] karli: that was kind of the pivotal moment of like, all right, you've been thinking about this for a really long time. Like it's time to just like make a move and let go of some of the things that aren't working for you and move towards the things that you know, feel true, that feel warm, that
[00:08:29] Nicole: mm-hmm.
[00:08:30] karli: more in line with who I.
[00:08:32] Nicole: Yeah. Wow. Thank you for, for sharing that. That actually, that sounds like a lot of stories that I hear from other people, that they get themselves so burnout and luckily it sounds like you had the, the, you were in a position and had the privilege to be able to take that five weeks off. Um, is there anything that maybe you would've.
[00:08:56] Nicole: differently. Like if you could go back to that, that period of time, is there anything that you would've done differently or would you change anything about that experience?
[00:09:05] karli: Yeah, I mean, I think like Shirley wouldn't have burnt myself out as hard as I ended up doing, so that I didn't have that big crash. You know,
[00:09:13] Nicole: Yeah.
[00:09:14] karli: think like part of why I was working so hard is I felt that there was a crash coming and I wanted to make sure, you know, I was doing like consulting and contracting, so I was trying to save as much as I can, but I feel like that just made the burnout. Come even faster. Harder. but I think that, like, yeah, I think if, if I changed anything, I feel like I would've been a lot gentler on myself through that process so that I didn't have to kind of make such an abrupt shift. Um, but I'm also really grateful for letting go and, and for basically like dropping something that wasn't working for him anymore and, and having. Trust in myself and being brave enough to start something new. I think like one of the really big benefits I had was that I had, you know, a few people that I talked about it and a little support system, like Nicole being one of those people and was like, okay, this is encouraging. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.
[00:10:10] karli: And that, I think was one of the things I did write in that situation.
[00:10:15] Nicole: Yeah, so I mean, but just like making such an abrupt shift like that. Like you talked a lot about identity earlier that like, this was Carly, the hustler, this was Carly, the event planner, like and I, and I can definitely appreciate that as well. Like I knew who I was as an HR professional, like I knew who I was and.
[00:10:34] Nicole: How to show up in that way. And I remember when I made a big shift for myself that I struggled with that identity piece. Like who am I? Who am I now? Because we get, I think we get, um, ourselves so wrapped up in our jobs and our identity as we are in our jobs that whenever. Role is no longer there, even if it's like a good thing, right?
[00:10:59] Nicole: Like you've been promoted or you went to a new company, or you made a great shift, um, that you're really excited about. There's still, you know, when when change happens, there's still an element of, of loss. Like, can you, can you just kind of talk about your experience with your shifting your identity, um, in the middle of, in the middle of a big change?
[00:11:20] Nicole: Like how, how, you know, how did all that feel for.
[00:11:24] karli: Yeah, I mean that like grief, it was really real. Like just this identity, this I had built, like I had built a whole network around this. I had built like a personality of following, you know, I was really well known in the space in my community for what I did. You know, I was. Taking on a lot of new clients, I was having to turn people down.
[00:11:42] karli: I had so much business. And so it seemed kinda crazy to walk away from it. Like a lot of people were like, really? What? Like really? And I think though, like for me, um, The grief was, was really hard. But I, in that time off, which I know not everyone gets to do, but I just had started finding ways to find an identity outside of work and finding things that were kind of my anchors.
[00:12:06] karli: Like, I go to yoga a lot during the week and that was something that I like found again and started up again during that time. And that's kinda been like an anchor for me. I started taking. Classes, like I'm taking a mindful writing class right now. I took a pottery class, like just kind of trying these new things to figure out like, who am I outside of this thing? and I found out like, now, you know, when people are like, oh, like tell me about yourself. The first thing I would say was like, oh, I'm do event marketing for Techstar.
[00:12:35] Nicole: Mm-hmm. . Yep.
[00:12:36] karli: and now I'm like, oh, I have all these other things and then also I do this. And so I think like there was a lot of letting go and a lot of grief that came around that, you know, this wasn't a, it seemed like an abrupt shift, but like, not to my therapist.
[00:12:50] karli: We've been talking about it for a really long time, where I just was like, I'm really scared to let this go. I remember telling her, I'm whispering this cause I'm not ready to say it out loud yet. I'm not ready to do anything about it, but I don't think I wanna do this. More.
[00:13:03] Nicole: yeah.
[00:13:03] karli: we'll just plant that seed. But, you know, I think it, it was a lot of, a lot of grief, but I'm grateful that I had a few people in my sphere that
[00:13:13] karli: tell them, like, I'm not totally right to talk about this yet, but this is kind of how I'm starting to feel.
[00:13:17] Nicole: Mm. Yeah.
[00:13:19] Nicole: So what would you say to someone who's struggling to find their clarity or struggling to figure out their next steps? Especially if either things were thrust upon them, kinda like a layoff situation or if just, again, they're just getting these guts, you know, these, these gut feelings that like what it is that they're doing is just, is just not right for them anymore.
[00:13:41] karli: Yeah. I mean, first of all, you're not alone. I think a lot of people are feeling that way. I think a lot of people are being kind of disillusioned about their corporate environment or they're getting these promotions and they're feeling like, kind of like, yeah, cool, whatever. Um, there's been layoffs that are like thrusting you in this situation.
[00:13:57] karli: I think they've also talked to a lot of people. Have just left a job with uncertainty on what they'll do next. Um, knowing that like, this isn't working and I'll figure it out and I'm trusting myself to figure it out. Um, I think it's also really important to figure out not just when to leave, but what to leave. So I would recommend starting there, like if you can kind of like journal and I think is one of the things I recommend to a lot of my clients is just like putting these down on paper. What is it about that current situation that was making you feel those ways? Like even just like, here is my list of grievances and figure out what the commonality is in that.
[00:14:35] karli: So think for some people it is this role, this path I'm on, like I'm in marketing and I don't wanna do marketing anymore. Or you may find that it's the company or you've moved up the ladder to be a director and you actually don't like managing people. so I think like starting with, trying to pinpoint. What it is you want to leave and what it is you want to change can help make that question a lot more solvable. Cause figuring out like what you wanna do with your life, like that question is enormous. Like what does that actually mean? And the reality is it's not gonna be until you die. Like let's all be real.
[00:15:10] karli: Like, you know, it's like this might be for a few years and you can always change and jump to something else. So I think starting with a question that's a lot more solvable is like, what do I want to leave? Which of these things is causing. Dissatisfaction. That's not making me feel fulfilled in this career.
[00:15:28] Nicole: Yeah, I think that's a really, really great point because you know, so often I'll see people who. They're like, ah, this job sucks. I don't want this job anymore. And then they jump to something else without taking that really important step. And they might find themselves in a really similar situation because they thought it was like, oh, it's just that my boss sucks.
[00:15:49] Nicole: Oh, this company sucks, or whatever. And they jumped to a different role without taking that time, taking that reflection time to get that clarity, and then they end up right back into the same situation, which is just heartbreaking.
[00:16:02] karli: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I think like I've been guilty of it as well. Like I just was again that like, well, if I get this promotion, if I move to this new company, if I move to this new space, like this'll, this'll do it. This'll do it. And I think that like having now learned, like, okay, let's pause.
[00:16:18] karli: Let's think about which pieces of this I'm really enjoying and which pieces I'm really not helped me realize. For me, it was a full career pivot, and for some other people it may just. I'm not doing this in the right industry. This role isn't quite it, but it might be different at another company. Um, so I think like, yeah, really pinpointing which of those things you need to leave and not just like abandoning all of it or doing the opposite and just jumping to something that's gonna end up putting you in the same position.
[00:16:49] Nicole: Yeah. Yeah. So we've talked a lot about, um, burnout already, but, um, I can totally see how this. Whole process of just recognizing that whatever it is that you're doing right now is not working, and then trying to figure out the clarity to get beyond that can be super overwhelming. So how do you avoid burning yourself out just, or just getting really overwhelmed by this seeking clarity process.
[00:17:19] karli: Yeah. Yeah. When I, um, onboard clients, one of the first things we talk about is what I call managing the uncomfortness, um, which is what I like to call, like, you know, you're surviving this transition, you're surviving this uncertainty, especially, well, you know, for someone who's laid off, there's a lot of uncertainty, a lot of anxiety about what to figure out next.
[00:17:38] karli: And I would say also, if you're still in the job, you. Like that's really hard to keep doing it while you're also trying to figure out your next
[00:17:46] Nicole: Mm-hmm.
[00:17:47] karli: first of all, just like give yourself some grace and remind yourself of the facts like you haven't always will take care of yourself. You are smart, you are capable. You know when to let go of things. You know you're a problem solver. You'll find a solution. Just like those are the things I tell myself. I. down. That's been my like, okay, you'll always figure this out. You'll always figure this out. Um, and so I think just like reminding yourself of those things and learning to what you're feeling, listen to that.
[00:18:16] karli: Like if your Sunday scaries are getting way worse as you're moving along, like listen to that, know that that's like. Your body, your heart, your mind telling you like this isn't right. So first of all, just like trust yourself in those things. And then I would say like a lot of people really focus on networking and I think that that networking can be really great to build up your community, build up your cheerleaders.
[00:18:38] karli: But what I've found is that when you're in that place of. Freaking out. You may not be your best self and it might be a good time for you to like lean into the bridges that you've already built. Maintain those relationships, stay connected to your industry, stay connected to your people. find people that you can really be. with about those conversations and you know about planting those seeds of like, I'm not really sure about this. I'm kinda leaning towards maybe something new. so connect with your cheerleaders. And then I would also say give yourself some time as much as you can. So if you are on a job that you're not loving, If you can find ways to take things off your plate to block time on your calendar, like one of the things I started doing was out of office blocks at my weekly therapy appointment and my favorite yoga class.
[00:19:28] karli: It was out of office. Like it wasn't even like, I could be like, oh, okay, I can move it. Like I'll shift for this. You know, this client for this call, whatever. I just was like, these are totally off limits. You'll immediately get rejected. Um, and then I would say if you're in the middle of a layoff, how can you or considering leaving your job, like how can you give yourself more time?
[00:19:49] karli: That financial uncertainty can be really scary. if you have a partner having those conversations about where can we cut back? How much you know, how much time can I give myself? If you can find a part-time job. If you have like savings you can
[00:20:03] Nicole: Mm-hmm.
[00:20:05] karli: um, if you're thinking about leaving, can you find ways to, you know, save more money over the next couple months and give yourself a runway? think that that can help. Like, you don't wanna also be worrying about money while you're figuring out what to do. So as much as you can, give yourself time and give yourself runway so that you're not, again, like making. Like knee jerk decision where you're like, okay, well I can get a job in the same thing really easily.
[00:20:28] karli: So I'll just do that and then I'll figure it out. You'll always be in that. And then, and then, and then if you don't like, make sure you have time to.
[00:20:37] Nicole: Yeah, no, those, those are all really great, great points. We even talked last week and last week's episode about, um, about how to recession proof your career. We talked even in that episode about, you know, just taking a look at your financial, um, about your financial standing and making sure, just exactly what you just said about what kind of a runway.
[00:20:58] Nicole: um, uh, can you have, cuz I can really take the pressure off. I also really loved what you just said about the networking piece because I'm definitely someone who's always talking about utilize your network, tap into your network. Um, and I think it's a really great, great point to say that, you know what, if you're in the middle of this, like, Period of time where you're, you know, in the thick of trying to figure out, you know, trying to gain clarity, you know, going out there and, you know, doing a ton of networking with a bunch of people might not be the right, that might not be the right time to do that, right?
[00:21:34] Nicole: There might need to be some. You know, that pausing to say, let me, let me just tap into my, you know, my really trusted inner circle to, you know, to, to again, to talk out how I'm feeling right now to help gain that clarity. And then once you have that, then you can better go to your network and say, Hey, this is what I'm looking for next, you know?
[00:21:58] Nicole: So I think that's a really great reminder too. Even those of us who love a good networking session, we need to to, to slower roll sometimes on that. It might not be the right, that's definitely not the first step in all of this. So this has been, this has been so great. Carly, I'd love just to hear specifically, like I asked all of my, all of my guests, how would you say that you have upgraded your own career up until.
[00:22:26] karli: Yeah. I mean, I think for me, like building something that aligns with my my values, my priorities, like I think that that has been a huge upgrade for my career and just my life. Like I think I'm building something that. Just aligns with who I am and allows me to have that identity outside of work and allows me to bring my whole self to this.
[00:22:51] karli: You know, like just did, uh, a career clarity workshop and I think all of them are like, I understand exactly who you are. Like I was able to just like bring my whole self to it, talk about my experience, and hear other people's experience and validate that, and I think that's been a huge upgrade to my career is to feel like I'm bringing my whole self to this and I'm able to really. Help people. You know, it was a, a really tough journey for me. And so my whole goal is like, it doesn't have to be that hard. Let's not make this years long process where you burn out, let's like, you know, confine this, you have some like, help in this situation. So for me, that's just been a huge upgrade is to really find something that I'm passionate about and that I feel like I'm kind of giving to my c.
[00:23:38] Nicole: Oh, that's awesome. I love that. So what's, so what's going on next? What are you, what are you working on? What are you, what are you doing right now?
[00:23:46] karli: Um, yeah, so I have a career Clarity q and a on March 16th.
[00:23:52] Nicole: Mm-hmm.
[00:23:52] karli: basically come if you have questions. If you're questioning your path, if you're trying to figure out what's next, that you can join and ask questions, I'll kind explain my process if you'd like to hear how things went for me and then how to not make it last year, do that bit easier. so I'll have that on March 16th if join.
[00:24:13] Nicole: Awesome. Yeah, we'll definitely put, um, we'll put all of that in the show notes, links to, to that, to get signed up in the show notes. You can go out to, um, nicole k speaks.com/podcast and you can find, um, the show notes out there and get the links directly from from there. So again, Carly, thank you so much for, for, for joining us.
[00:24:33] Nicole: Um, this has been such a great conversation and so valuable. I know for so many people out there, just where can we, where can we find you? Where can everyone, um, find you if they wanna learn?
[00:24:43] karli: Yeah, um, you can go to guided coaching.co and learn a little bit about more about me and what I offer. Um, you can also follow me at Carly, the coach on Instagram as well. And it's Carly, k a r l i. My mom has no reasoning behind the spelling, just she thought it was great, so there's no, people always like, what's it come from?
[00:25:04] karli: I'm like, it's not fun. It's just weird.
[00:25:06] Nicole: Awesome. Awesome. Well, thank you again so much for joining today and, um, I'm excited to continue our friendship and just continue to see how you continue to grow and blossom in your upgraded career.
[00:25:22] karli: Awesome. Thank you so much for having me.
[00:25:25] Nicole: Thanks, Carly.
[00:25:26] Nicole: Okay. So, so much great information in that episode, in that conversation. So again, if you're feeling stuck and are trying to figure out your next steps know that you aren't alone in that. Everyone experiences this to some degree in their lives and their career at some point. So like Carly said, Give yourself some grace and start with some reflection around your values and just what's important to you.
[00:25:56] Nicole: And if you want to learn more about Karlie and her work and attend her free clarity Q and a session. Head on over to the show notes at Nicole K speaks.com/podcast/ten. And you can find links to all that and her social media handles. So you can continue following her. So thanks so much for joining me here at the upgraded career podcast i'll see you again in the next episode in the meantime remember your career deserves an upgrade
